Anxiety of Coming Out

Varnesvari Rilde | 06-09-2022

For years I had hidden,

For months I had waited,

For weeks I had decided,

Mere moments is all that remained.

Today is the day – I told myself,

Now is the time – I explained to self,

It will be all right – I assured myself.

Neither was true, nor was it false,

The one truth was that it would change it all.

I entered the room,

I sat in the chair.

“M...M...Mom”, I stuttered.

I had something to tell.

I opened my mouth to say the words.

I was struck by a thought which was worse.

My mouth won’t move,

My heart-beat fast,

I heard the silence,

So I revealed it all.

“I’m queer” I said.

And closed my eyes.

I didn’t wish to see,

Her reaction this time.